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~ BLOG ~
Conscious Leaders create
​Conscious Organizations

​Workshop Highlight: “Needs-Based Communication (NVC) CORE CONCEPTS: ​Enhancing Self-Awareness & Self-Responsibility”

6/3/2021

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a six-hour live interactive workshop designed for the workplace
part of the Conscious Leader Development programs at Basileia LLC


Upcoming Sessions!
Interactive workshop series via live video technology ​ — six 75-min sessions
Jul/Aug 20201 Series -  Jul 2 - Aug 6
Aug/Sep 2021 Series -  Aug 18 - Sep 22
Oct/Nov 2021 Series  -  Oct 1 - Nov 5
Nov/Dec 2021 Series  - Nov 3 - Dec 15
Details & Enrollment: https://www.basileia.org/nvccore.html 

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
​

—Viktor E. Frankl

This workshop helps you navigate that "space ... between stimulus and response." For most of us, it is a space where we can easily be triggered into the reactive "fight, flight, freeze" area of our brain. When we think and act from that fear-based place, our effectiveness and impact are diminished, especially as leaders within an organization.

In our values-based leadership assessments, this behavior shows up in the leader’s "personal entropy" score, where personal entropy is defined as the amount of fear-driven energy that a person expresses in his or her day-to-day interactions with other people.

Needs-Based Communication (NVC) is a potent process that stimulates new insights and gives us new tools to bridge the space between unconscious reaction and conscious response. It invites us to "stop playing the blame game," by enhancing our self-awareness and self-responsibility. At the same time, it enhances our ability to communicate and collaborate with others in challenging conversations, when emotions are rising, even when we seem to be heading into conflict.
Though this is a foundational workshop in our Conscious Leadership Development programs, it is essentially a course on "Leading Yourself" ... and so it's really a course for anyone ready to enhance self-responsibility for their own life. And while there is a workplace focus on these sessions, participants are also invited to use personal or family situations in terms of applying the process if they choose. The skills and the mindsets are the same no matter where they are applied.

This series focuses on core concepts of NVC, and is a pre-requisite for more advanced training for Conscious Leadership, e.g. Conscious Conversations, Conscious Accountability, Building Conscious Teams, etc.

Workshop Outline

Session 1: Own Your Own Reactions: Observations
Session 2: Own Your Own Feelings: Self-Connection
Session 3: Own Your Own Needs: Authentic Expression
Session 4: Invite Others to Own Their Own Reactions, Feelings & Needs: Empathic Listening
Session 5: Own Your Own Choices: Self-Empowerment & Autonomy
​Session 6: Self-Responsibility​: Being Accountable for Myself

Workshop Format

This workshop is an interactive, activity-based experience where participants are invited to learn through self-reflection, interactions in pairs or small groups, and engagement with the whole group. Workshops combine innovative, interactive strategies with essential principles of leadership and communication to create a robust learning experience.

Delivery of this interactive workshop may either be as a live on-site event or a live video technology event —​ or a combination of both, depending on your needs.

Full Workshop Description: Needs-Based Communication (NVC) Core Concepts
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Empathy: Name it, and you’re more likely to get it

1/29/2020

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Applications of Conscious Leadership

I facilitated a conversation recently among a group of seven nurses and CNAs, along with the nursing supervisor and nursing director. It is a group I’ve been meeting with twice a month for about 6 months. The intention of the meetings has been to invite them to take ownership of co-creating the culture they want, to take responsibility for how they are showing up, especially in those moments of reactivity in themselves or in the people with whom they work.

At one point, a nurse said “I wasn’t going to speak, but I just need to say this … when I come to my supervisor and tell her that I’m overwhelmed and need more support on the floor, I don’t want to hear a response of ‘you don’t have anything to complain about … our nursing coverage is much higher than most facilities even when we’re short handed.’”

“I don’t feel heard when you say that, and I get even more frustrated. I want to hear that you understand how overwhelmed I am, how frustrated and disappointed I feel to not be able to provide the quality of care I want to.”

This nurse is describing a moment in her work day when she has a human need for empathy. 

The human need of empathy
​is a core need for all of us.
When our emotions are surging— whether in joy or frustration— we have a yearning for another human being to be present to us, to understand what is going on in us. Not to try to fix us, or make us better, or to try to distract us from it, but simply to be present to us. 

Empathy has many close cousins, the simplest of which is the need to be heard. How rare in our work day (or anywhere else for that matter) do we encounter another person who is willing to give us their attention and to listen with understanding. Ahh … to be understood … another close cousin of empathy.

Amazingly, when we are heard, when we are understood, when we get nurtured with the empathy that we need, then we have a sense of being valued, of mattering.
​
One of the challenges around the need of empathy
​is that it is often unseen. 
We don’t name it, we don’t ask for it, we don’t coach others in how to give it, we aren’t taught the common ways that people “ask” for empathy.

Very often in the workplace, when staff is reaching out for empathy, the supervisor or manager instead hears it as complaining, or whining, or making excuses, or simply “bad behavior.”

Another nurse spoke up, “I appreciate that I can call the nurse supervisor and ask her if I can just vent for a few minutes so I don’t explode, and she gives me the space to do it, and afterward says ‘I can really hear your frustration of how hard it is to work with this patient.’ … That helps a lot. Otherwise, I think I would probably take it out on my co-workers and on the patient.”

When I asked a CNA who had been quiet to check in, she paused for a moment, and said “I don’t really have anything to say … I’m here … I’m doing my job … but I’m not really here.” 

I asked her, “Are you saying that you’re getting your job done, but that there’s stuff going on in your life that’s keeping you from being as present as you would like?”

“Yeah, it’s not about what’s going on at work … I’m fine here … it’s even good to be here. But I’ve had so much going on …” She went on to name three people close to her that had died in the last month, one of which had literally died in her arms. “The people here are so supportive of what I’m going through … they give me a hug and say ‘I’m sorry’ … it really helps.”

The need for empathy is pervasive …
it arises in multiple moments,
​in every day, in every one of us. 
We’re more likely to get that need met when we recognize it, and ask for it. In fact, these are milestones of development in becoming a Conscious Leader.

Of course, unless there is someone available to you who is skilled in empathic listening, then you might not get the quality of presence that nurtures the need of empathy. Empathic listening is one of four core skill sets within Needs-Based Communication (NVC), and part of the foundational training for a Conscious Leader.

If we are to meet the human need for empathy in our workplace environments, then we also need structures that support people in their need for empathy. For the group of nurses and CNAs I mentioned above, one of their key structures is the bi-monthly meetings that we have together. They are also encouraged to support each other. To notice when a colleague is in a reactive state, to invite the person to pause and take some deep breaths, and to meet their colleague with some empathic listening. 

As another example, in my prior IT business, we had a designated room called the “Gold Room” that was set up with comfortable seating and warm colors where people could go to step out of the work environment for a moment to connect with themselves or with another person.

Empathy is a core human need.
I invite you to learn to recognize it and name it.
I invite you to learn the skill of empathic listening to nurture it.
​I invite you to create structures within your work environment that are conducive to empathic connection.
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​Leadership that Honors the Dignity of Human Beings

1/27/2020

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An Invitation to Become a More Conscious Leader

For hundreds of generations including our own, we have been conditioned to a “domination” mindset of leadership that puts the needs of one human being above another. Whomever the person in power — the king, the boss, the teacher, the parent, the priest, the government official — their choices and their will are imposed on those they lead. 

The domination mindset of leadership is based on fear: "do what I say, or else I will use my power to harm you (“punishment”)."

And I have language that I can use so that you — not I — are responsible for the harm I do to you: “you deserve it." 

The more benevolent leaders in this mindset emphasize giving you something you want (a "reward") if you do what they say.

Either way, the person in power is using the extrinsic motivation of rewards and punishments to manipulate and coerce the people they lead to do what they say.

At the core of this domination leadership is a mindset of “I matter — and you don’t.”

Over the millennia this domination mindset has been built into our language, our thinking, our culture, our families, our institutions, our laws, our policies — perpetuating the mindset so that it becomes pervasive, invisible and subconscious. We say ”that’s just the way the world is” … “that’s just what a leader is.”

“Conscious” leadership sees another way.

It flows from a mindset of “I matter AND you matter” that is based on trust and care.

I am reminded of a children’s book by Douglas Wood called Old Turtle and the Broken Truth. The story highlights the contrast in living from the “broken” truth of “you are loved …” with the “whole” truth of “you are loved … and so are they.” In the broken truth, we see ourselves as being more valuable than others. In the whole truth, we see each other as equally valuable in our humanity.

For the conscious leader, people are valued intrinsically because each person has a sacred dignity which is grounded in a divine core.

​Conscious Leadership, as I am defining it,
is not a different style of leadership,
nor is it a new set of tools and techniques
​to put in your leadership tool kit.

Conscious Leadership challenges the underlying and hidden mindset from which all domination leadership flows.

Namely, if human beings are valued, then any use of coercion, manipulation, rewards, punishment or harm diminishes the value and dignity of the human being, and has no place. 

Instead, a conscious leader leads by igniting people’s intrinsic motivation to contribute and belong to something bigger than themselves which they mutually value.

​If human beings are truly valued,
its pragmatic expression is to value
​human needs.

For example, when an organization values the human need “to be heard,” you would observe people having conversations that value being heard, as well as organizational structures and processes that value being heard.

For instance, you would see leaders avoiding the tendency to dismiss what another person is saying by labeling it as “complaining” or “whining.” And meetings would include a structure such as rounds where each person has an explicit opportunity to speak and be heard. 
​

The first step toward conscious leadership then,
is to embrace the new mindset of
“I matter AND you matter.” 

I value you and your human needs as much as I value myself and my own human needs. 

To embrace the mindset is to move toward it, starting from wherever you are. It’s the yearning to lead from this new mindset that propels the conscious leader forward in her own development. It’s the openness to embrace the new language, the new thinking, and the new way of being that this mindset invites. 

What matters is not to be a conscious leader, but to become a more conscious leader. It means an ongoing commitment of authentic self-discovery to see where domination still lives within you, and to consciously practice new thinking and new language in alignment with “I matter AND you matter AND we matter.”

What does leadership look like
when the needs of the leader
and the needs of those being led
​are valued equally?

​What does leadership look like that refuses to use coercion, manipulation or punishment to get work done? What does “strength” look like in such a leader? What does “accountability” look like in this environment?


I hope to shine a light on such questions in the weeks to come to create more clarity around what it means to be a conscious leader.
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​Basileia's Learning Framework: Prepare, Apply, Practice, Feedback, Accountability

6/3/2019

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​When you participate in a live, interactive workshop at Basileia, the workshop is embedded in a larger process to ensure impact in the workplace.

We have found that the likelihood of impact is much higher when the participant
(a) prepares for the session beforehand,
(b) applies and practices the learnings from the session afterward, and
​(c) has an opportunity for feedback and accountability around their learning:

PREPARE

Before each workshop session, participants are asked to access preparatory materials on a private web page, including handouts to download, preparatory activities, reading assignments, videos, etc. Typically, this preparation will take about 20-30 minutes. By engaging in the core concepts beforehand, participants can engage more interactively during the session itself.

APPLY

After each session, participants are asked to apply the key concepts from the session to their own workplace environment using specific activity worksheets as guidance.

PRACTICE

Each participant is invited to attend a monthly facilitated group practice session where they can ask for support on their individual challenges, ask questions, do role plays, etc. to support their learning.

FEEDBACK and MUTUAL ACCOUNTABILITY

Each participant is paired with another participant who will be their “Accountability Buddy” with whom they are asked to meet weekly for about 15-20 minutes so that they can give feedback and support to each other regarding the completed activity worksheets, reviewing key concepts and applying the learnings in the workplace.

As a means of fostering self- and mutual accountability, each participant is asked to email their completed activity worksheet to the facilitator and to their Accountability Buddy at least 24 hours before the next session begins. Additionally, participation in the sessions and in accountability buddy meetings is tracked and displayed on the private web page.

LEARNING SUPPORT AFTER THE WORKSHOP

After the workshop, participants have these added resources to support their continued learning and application of the learning content:
  • Continued participation in Monthly Practice Sessions
  • Continued access to all workshop materials and recordings on the private web page.
  • Option to retake all or a portion of the workshop at no additional for a period of 12 months 
  • One-on-one coaching sessions can provide tailored feedback and learning support. You can see detailed information about our leadership coaching support here: Leadership Coaching
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Group Discounts on Workshops — starts with as few as three people

6/2/2019

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We have recently announced group discounts when more than 2 people from the same organization, team or group enroll in the same workshop. It is a progressive discount that varies from 25% to 75% depending on the total number of people enrolled: 
  • first 2 enrolled:  no discount
  • next 2 enrolled:  25% discount
  • next 4 enrolled:  50% discount
  • next 4 enrolled:  75% discount

As an organization, you can get your entire team trained at significant discounts.
As an individual, you can invite other people that you know to enroll with you.

To take advantage of the discount, you'll see it as an option when you enroll in any of our workshops.

And keep in mind our Training Subscription Plan which provides unlimited access to our full public schedule of live interactive video workshops, and is priced between $100-$150 per person per month. This Plan is ideal where a group or an individual intend to enroll in a range of workshops.

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Workshop Highlight: "Connect First!: Bringing Conscious Presence into the Workplace"

6/2/2019

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a three-hour live interactive workshop designed for the workplace
part of the Conscious Leader Development programs at Basileia LLC


Upcoming Sessions!
Interactive workshop series via live video technology ​ — three 75-min sessions

Spring 2019 Series - ​Jun 4, 11, 18
Summer 2019 Series - Sep 3, 10, 17
Fall 2019 Series - ​Dec 4, 11, 18


Details & Enrollment: http://www.basileia.org/connectfirst.html 
​“Intention organizes,

attention energizes.” 



​— Deepak Chopra
A Conscious Leader's most potent skill is the ability to bring full attention and presence to people and to qualities that matter. At the team or organizational level, that means enlivening the intrinsic motivators such as Shared Purpose, Core Values and Direction. At the human level, it means the ability to fully "see" and "hear" the people with whom we work. In short, respect for their humanity.

This course builds on the skills from Needs-Based Communication (NVC) Core Concepts, and applies them in the day-to-day, moment-to-moment interactions that we have with the people on our team or in our organization. These are the moments that take a few seconds to a few minutes ... as we walk down the hall, in the few minutes before the meeting begins, or as we work side-by-side with someone on our team.

By consciously showing up in these brief but frequent moments throughout the day, the Conscious Leader activates and builds an environment of trust and belonging.

Workshop Outline

Session 1: Attention and Presence: The most precious of human resources ​
Session 2: "Hear Me": The foundation of being valued​
Session 3: "See Me": Redefining the need of recognition​

Workshop Format

This workshop is an interactive, activity-based experience where participants are invited to learn through self-reflection, interactions in pairs or small groups, and engagement with the whole group. Workshops combine innovative, interactive strategies with essential principles of leadership and communication to create a robust learning experience.

Delivery of this interactive workshop may either be as a live on-site event or a live video technology event —​ or a combination of both, depending on your needs.

Full Workshop Description including registration: Connect First!

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Workshop Highlight: "Conscious Accountability"

1/5/2019

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a six-hour live interactive workshop designed for the workplace
part of the Conscious Leader Development programs at Basileia LLC


Upcoming Sessions!
Interactive workshop series via live video technology ​ — six 75-min sessions
Winter 2019 Series - Jan 10 - Feb 14​
Spring 2019 Series - Apr 11 - May 16
Details & Enrollment: https://www.basileia.org/accountability1.html


"Blame is the absence of accountability." 

​
— Brené Brown, professor at the University of Houston


When we imagine relationships in a "power-with" environment, many tend to focus on the "with" — the gentle, connecting qualities such as being valued, empathy and care.

These are essential skills of the Conscious Leader that we introduce in the "Connect First: Bringing conscious presence into the workplace" sessions.

Equally essential are the skills that enliven the "power": the fierce connectedness that leads us toward fulfillment of our shared purpose. 

Connection matters. And so does Purpose.

Conscious Accountability within an environment of intrinsic motivation looks very different than the accountability that we associate with blame and punishment. There are new levels of self-awareness to embrace and new skills to learn.

That's what this series is about.

We will apply the self-awareness and self-responsibility that we learned in the "Needs-Based Communication (NVC) CORE CONCEPTS" foundations to real workplace needs for feedback and accountability.

The Conscious Leader is both gentle and fierce. This course helps us develop the fierce side.

Workshop Outline

Session 1:  Conscious Feedback, Part 1: Moving beyond praise & criticism
Session 2:  Conscious Feedback, Part 2: Receiving feedback
Session 3:  Mutual Accountability:  ​"Calling in" to alignment rather than "calling out"
Session 4:  Conscious Agreements: Staying in integrity around our agreements
Session 5:  100% Responsibility, Not More, Not Less: Taking full responsibility for my behaviors, but not for others
Session 6:  Conscious Terminations: Honoring the humanness of everyone when employment relationships are ended

​ Workshop Format

This workshop is an interactive, activity-based experience where participants are invited to learn through self-reflection, interactions in pairs or small groups, and engagement with the whole group. Workshops combine innovative, interactive strategies with essential principles of leadership and communication to create a robust learning experience.

Delivery of this interactive workshop may either be as a live on-site event or a live video technology event —​ or a combination of both, depending on your needs.

Full Workshop Description including registration: Conscious Accountability
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NEW! - Training Subscription Plan

1/4/2019

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Our new Training Subscription Plan provides unlimited access to all publicly scheduled live interactive video workshops in Basileia's "Conscious Leader Development" program, and is priced between $100-$150 per person per month.
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Designed for flexibility and affordability, the Training Subscription Plan provides unlimited access to Basileia's full set of live interactive video workshops that are in Basileia's public training schedule. 

Whether you are an individual who wants to hone your Conscious Leadership skills or an Executive Director or CEO who wants to enhance the skills of your entire leadership team, the Training Subscription Plan provides a cost-effective and flexible approach that ensures training impact.

See the details about this new Plan here: 
Training Subscription Plan
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Needs-Based Communication (NVC): What it is and Why it matters in the Workplace

9/21/2018

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Needs-Based Communication (NVC)* is a potent process that can support us when we are having — or need to have — challenging conversations that matter to us ...

... like giving authentic feedback to a co-worker ...

​... or listening to someone at work or at home when we disagree with what they are saying ...

... or how we respond when we perceive ourselves as being "attacked" in a conversation ...

... or expressing clearly our personal or professional boundaries when a colleague has stepped beyond them ...

... or what we do when we feel anger rising in ourselves and we know we will likely regret the words we are about to say ...

... or when we've just expressed something in a meeting that really matters to us, but no one seems to have heard it ...

... or when we're too scared to speak up at all.​


NVC guides us to move beyond blame.
  • To recognize our own reactivity.
  • To understand our reactivity in terms of what matters to us.
  • To see another person's reactivity in terms of what matters to them.
  • In this new way of perceiving the situation, we are better able to respond consciously in a way that is likely to create mutual understanding.​
  • In that understanding, we can make choices and take actions that are more likely to advance all of us toward what matters to each of us.

Here are some of the skills and benefits of using Needs-Based Communication in the workplace ... or at home:
  • listening — so that the other person has an experience of being heard, even if we don't agree with what they are saying
  • empathy — the basis of care and compassion — recognizing the "weird" ways that we unconsciously ask for empathy
  • expressing disagreement without blame — an integral skill of conscious feedback and mutual accountability
  • recognizing our own unconscious reactions and limiting beliefs —​ these are what diminish our relationships and effectiveness, especially as leaders
  • seeing conflict as something to be harvested, not avoided — learn to "lean into" conflict instead of away from it, learn to hear the underlying essence of what matters to the people involved

​Needs-Based Communication invites us to expand our perception so that we see ways to bring connection amidst conflict. At the core of this expanded perception is the skill to focus our attention on the underlying human needs that are seeking to be nurtured in any moment, both within ourselves and within the people around us.

Examples of human needs include such things as ... 
  • being heard
  • mutual respect
  • inclusion
  • autonomy
  • belonging
  • purpose 
  • competence

These underlying human needs are the motivation for our actions and our words ... the "why" behind what we do or say. Because human needs are universal — they are common to all human beings — when we bring them into explicit focus, they tend to stimulate understanding and draw us closer together.

The potency of Needs-Based Communication is in its pragmatic simplicity. In any moment, including a moment of conflict, there are two ways to enhance connection & understanding:
  1. authentically express our own feelings & needs, or
  2. empathically listen to the feelings & needs of the other.

These are radically different choices than we are accustomed to experience when we are in conflict: namely, fight, freeze or flee.

While simple, NVC is often challenging to embody because we are so deeply conditioned to perceive each other through judgments and blame.

With practice, the process of NVC helps us navigate within ourselves to transform unconscious reactions into conscious responses.

What Needs-Based Communication is not ...
  • NVC is not about being nice; it's about being real.
  • It's not about stifling intensity, but transforming it.
  • NVC is not about changing other people or getting them to do what we want. It's about changing ourselves, so that we inspire the quality of communication and relationship that we want.
  • NVC is not a technique or formula. It's a process that helps guide our consciousness to a new awareness around human needs.

​Our workplaces and our homes will become more vibrant when there is greater trust and care, and less fear and blame; more conscious responses among us, and fewer unconscious reactions; more listening to understand, and less listening just to respond.

Needs-Based Communication is a pathway to take us there.


———————————-

If you're intrigued by Needs-Based Communication, I invite you to learn more:​
  • NVC Resources and Books
  • "An Introduction to Needs-Based Communication (NVC)" - a 90-min live interactive workshop session
  • "Needs-Based Communication (NVC) Core Concepts" - a 6-hour live interactive workshop

———————————-
​*Needs-Based Communication is based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg, which he called "Nonviolent Communication™" or NVC. I have chosen to call the process Needs-Based Communication for two reasons:
  1. First, human needs are the heart of the process.
  2. Secondly, I have wanted to avoid the common initial reaction from people in business that "... we're not a violent place." 
I have chosen to keep the "NVC" abbreviation for Needs-Based Communication because many people are familiar with NVC as a process — and it lacks the "nonviolent" connotation.

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New Live Interactive Workshops for Conscious Leader Development

9/4/2018

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I am excited to announce the redesign of the live interactive workshops within the Conscious Leader Development programs at Basileia LLC, including a new workshop format using live interactive video technology.

Highlights of the new design include:
​
  • New workshops, New content. A fresh integration of the last two decades of our learnings and experiences in needs-based leadership & organizational development work

  • Workshops focus on tangible and specific workplace needs such as accountability, supervision, or building a cohesive team. Workshops include:
    • Introduction to Conscious Leadership - 6-hour workshop
    • Introduction to Needs-Based Communication (NVC) - 90-min workshop
    • Needs-Based Communication (NVC) Core Concepts - 6-hour workshop
    • Connect First - 3-hour workshop
    • Conscious Accountability - 6-hour workshop
    • Conscious Conversations - 6-hour workshop
    • Building Conscious Teams - 6-hour workshop

  • Choice of two formats for live interactive workshops:
    • on-site workshops (our traditional workshop format), or
    • new video workshops using zoom's robust video conferencing technology including learning structures such as break-out rooms, screen sharing and polling

  • People world-wide can participate in open-enrollment video workshops.

  • Video workshops were created due to specific client requests:
    • short segments of training (75-90 minutes) that can fit into a professional's busy weekly schedule
    • a cost effective way to train one or two people at a time, or a group of 12 — without the added costs of travel
    • workshop recordings provide an easy way to catch up if the participant misses a session, or to review the training, in part or in whole, to support the learning process

  • Continuing the best practices that have always defined our workshops:
    • engaging, interactive, activity-based training with a live trainer facilitating it
    • an opportunity for the participant to apply the training to their real workplace situations within the training process

I am thrilled that our new live interactive video workshops enable more people around the world to learn the skills of conscious leadership.  I invite you to have a look at the details about each workshop, including the ability to register online for open-enrollment video workshops, using the links above.

FYI: We've also updated the info throughout our website, especially in the "services" section. Here are a few highlights:
  • Conscious Leadership
  • Facilitated "Whole-Team" Conversations
  • Supporting Leaders to Develop Conscious Organizations
  • Individual Coaching for Conscious Leader Development
  • Values-Based Cultural & Leadership Assessments

I hope to see you at one of these workshops soon!

Warmly,
Gregg

Gregg Kendrick
CEO  / Lead Trainer & Consultant
Basileia LLC
Create a Workplace Where People Matter™
+1.434.260.0437  | connect@basileia.org  | www.basileia.org

“Leaders must grow for the organization to grow.” —John Mackey
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